I'll be back later



You go to bed and the world is OK. You wake up, and the world is not as bright as before.

2019 has indeed been a roller coaster for an Arashi fan... Everything changes in a second!

Laughter, tears, laughter, tears, laughter, tears.

Gosh, I had no idea of what Japanese Idols were seven years ago, and now, here I am, today, feeling so down.

And this is so silly that makes me even more down!

He is my Ichiban. Or was... I don't know! 

I am feeling so... petty right now. And this is not my normal me. Maybe that's why I am feeling sick in my stomach. This alien, meany emotion!

I am sad today. Maybe tomorrow it will pass. But I am scared with being down because of a person that I will never meet. This is terrifying! And I think that I need to distance me a bit...

During the last years, roaming around LJ, I saw a lot of Senpai fans that walked away from the Fandom to live their lives... Maybe I should do that...

The irony. Just when they are seeking to get close to fans all around the world with all the SNS!

I should have noticed the danger when they announced the hiatus and I felt so without ground! I were too much involved!!! I squeezed Arashi in my life and they grown in it!

Nino... is my Ichiban... I think...

I am really sad today, having petty feelings . Thinking only about my sorrow and not on his happiness. Happiness that he has been nurturing for five years...

Also, I let the Japanese fans poisoning me... Every time that I did a search for 二宮和也 that old woman would appear... and my heart cracked. Sometimes I would enter the sites and I got horrified! My Ichiban made me sad sometimes.

And I am not long enough in the FanDom to be sad with the other four too LOL But that could have happened, after all, they are human. We are human. Human make mistakes. Human hurt. Human are human. Arashi is perfect, but only in my eyes!

Since the announcement from January that my general interest in Japan decreased considerably! But I insisted in keeping a firm hold on the boys! I have so many wonderful memories from what I could watch online and from DVDs!!! All of this doesn't vanish suddenly.

But I am really sad today.

I hope it passes. I want to feel all the joy that Arashi give us! 

And I thought nothing could be worse than a hiatus for a fan LOL Oh, the naive me! I must embrace myself for when he tell about the baby. Yes, because, if she want kids, she must hurry. Tic tac, tic tac...


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